Tuesday, September 5, 2006

What the HELL????

OK I'm mad.. a few things have happened this week I'll talk about but this first one is burning my chest out!!

#1 Kyra's dad.. the ass hole returns...

OK so if you all have been attentively reading my blogs you'll know Im trying to get Kyra's dad rekindled into her life...

I know he need some time to adjust to being her fathr blah blahb lbah (I dont really think so but everyone seems to think so) but Ok the man has bbe in her life for a month now and remaining to be an ass hole!! He is supposed to call her every tues night at 8:30 .. and not ONCE has he done it on time or at all period!!

tonight I called himto remind his moronic ass to call her, and he acted totally anoyed that he had to tak to her. ARG that pisses me off...

He tells her he went to Las vegas this weekend and he got home last night and that he's gonna call her back "sometime" this week... blah blah blah WTF!!!!! for those f you that dont know about the location of cedar city.. it is 2 hours north of Las vegas and 3 hours south of salt lake.. you must PASS THROUGH ONE TO GET TO THE OTHER! he came through HER CITY not ONCE but TWICE .. and didnt Fucking stop to see her!!!! What a dim shit..

And she knows that we are in the middle of vegas and salt lake because we drive it often .. and he TOLD HER.. and she even said to him why didn't you stop? he replied I dont know it was kinda late ..

If you had an astranged daughter, wouldnt you plan your travel to go through your DAUGHTERS TOWN at a decent hour so you could SEE HER!!! seeing as how its not like OUT OF THE FUCKING WAY!!!

Arg... I sent him a letter after I got off the phone with him.. I hung up on him I was so angry... this is what it said :

I have been very civil, and have bit my tongue but I can no longer sit back and have you break my daughter's heart.
She deserves a father that will talk to her any time she needs, not just on one night a week, for mabee 5-10 minutes!
which by the way you have never called on time... putting her schedule behind!!!
She deserves more than a sometimes father.. you claim your children need you.. well your daughter KYRA needs you just as much as they do. It shows a lack of compassion, a lack of concern, and lack of love for your daughter when you DRIVE THROUGH OUR TOWN and dont stop in to see her!!!
If you spend all of your money you have to go to Las Vegas that is not mine or your daughter's fault. You should have thought that perhaps I shouldnt be the only on to pay for the trips to visit you!! and I covered the cost to salt lake the first time, I came a day earlier so you could have one on one time with her, I took many pictures to commemorate your time with her... and you did nothing.. you didnt even so much as get her a dollar store toy!! I understand not having any money but common.. you could have gave her a stuffed animal from a garage sale for all she cared!!
It hurts me that I see my daughter hurt... It hurts her!! and she has tried to call you many times, she wants to talk to you and terra and all of her sisters and brothers! ... you wont even call back.
Quit hurting her and hurting her feelings..
she is your daughter.. ACT LIKE HER FATHER
After she saw you and the kids she was so excited to have a daddy. however her daddy is having fun and playing with her sisters and brothers every day, and she doesnt even get a hi ... its wrong sean.. and you know it!!
you tell me you have such conviction for your family, PROVE IT ... by being a father that you have never been to her!!
I will only talk to you when you need to be talked to. For instance if theres a trip to salt lake, I need help with getting there etc. from now on all costs to drive to salt lake will be shared or you wont see her. Im sorry I have to be harsh but you havent paid anything for her to see you, you need to help!
I am NOT sorry for blowing up today on the phone... you deserved to know that it is not right to treat your daughter that way.
and if you feel that not calling hurts me.. it doesn't.....IT HURTS HER.. do you REALLY want to hurt HER for OUR issues?
Heck Email her, I have a webcam, I can hook it up to her computer, and you could webcam back and fourth with her and her sisters, she needs you.. dont punish her for our issues sean.. its not right...
We need to push back the time you call her, if you still insist on only tues nights.. Kyra needs to be in bed by 8:30 and its just to late for her to be up, and waiting for the ohone to ring. Please call at 7:30.. so I have time to get her ready for bed after you get off the phone.
Please try to call her more than that. SHE NEEDS YOU!! DONT FAIL HER!!
How do you think I might have done it differently? to show him the upset and hurt he places on his daughter.. and at the same time showing him that she needs him to be there for her?

#2 mammogram update:

OK so I got the mamo done.. it showed nothing however they still will probably needle biopsy it because it hurts and its a palpable lump. My Dr. doesnt return to work till next week so I'll have to talk to her when she gets back. Uggg...

#3 School burn out so soon...

OK I dont know what the deal is but Im already 2 weeks into school and I am SOO ready to be DONE.. OY I already have a paper due tomorrow, and a test on friday!!

#4.. MEN OY .....

My favorite subject Penis's ok so Im trying to with hold from having sex again (sorry guys) and its really frustrating.. but I can hold out .. I've made it a whole year before I can do it again!! hopefully long enough to have a husband LOL YEAH .. I have gone 7 weeks with no sex YAHHOOOOO Ill keep strong this time!!

OK so a crazy random thing.. I had a seriously like wow dream last night about a classmate of mine.. I woke up in a flittery pitty patty heart beat.. and couldnt stop thinking about him all day!! I am so happy I see him tomorrow In class.. *pant pant* I hope I dont drool sitting next to him *sniff* note to self.. wear deodorant LOL

theres my rants for the week ...

Kisses all ..


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