Why am I a target?? Rape.. a serious blog...

December 03, 2005

Sexual Asault... Why am I a target?? Current mood: numb Tonight I was sleeping ... I fell asleep on my couch...and I was woken up by my friends boyfriend on top of me kissing me and groping me... He was going to try to RAPE ME... WHY DOES THIS HAPPEN TO ME??????? DO I HAVE A HUGE TARGET ON MY DOOR THAT SAYS .. "PLEASE COME VIOLATE THIS GIRL" ????? I am ANGRY.. I am Sad... I am hurt... I have BEEN raped before... but NOTHING LIKE THIS... Im not saying I was raped this time .. but emotionally I am more violated than my other "rapes".. Before all 4 times I have been raped _I_ led them on.. I had SOME part in letting them think I was interested... NOT IN THIS CASE>>> I have spoken to this man ONCE a month and a half ago.... It was at 11:30pm ... it is now 3 pm I have changed clothes... washed my face and brushed my teeth till they bleed... but I can still smell him here... I DONT FEEL SAFE IN MY OWN HOME... He just CAME IN.. and helped himself to me.. like a serving of tuna fish.. his for the taking.. WHICH I AM NOT ... I AM ANGRY>>>> UPDATE: The detective just called... He ADMITED IT ALL... AHHHHH... in one sence I am glad... so I dont have to "prove" that it really happened to me.. (I have guilt complex) but on the other hand since he admited it.. I think the DA will go lightly on him... and after all .. he didnt penatrate.. BUT I AM STILL EMOTIONALLY RAPED ...